I had my first round of Taxol the Thursday before last. That Wednesday (a few days ago) I started getting a fever while I was at work. I left work around 4:00 and got into bed. One of the things that my doctor has drilled into my head is that if I have a fever of 100.5 or greater or chills, I have to call the the clinic or the after hours on call doctor.
By 7:00 that night I was under 3 blankets and shivering uncontrollably. But my fever was only 100 or so...which continues to confuse me. A fever of 100 should not cause chills that bad, is nothing normal in my body right now? By 1:15 am, my fever was 101.3 and the on call fellow told me I needed to go to the ER. So, my mom came and picked me up (40 minutes later because she had to shower and then got out of the shower and realized she forgot to rinse the conditioner out of her hair and she had to stop and get gas.....I think she was having a hard time wrapping her head around the fact that she was driving me to the ER).
At the ER they drew my blood, gave me a chest xray and started an IV antibiotic. My WBC (infection fighting part of my blood) was 4.1, and 4.0 is where normal starts. But, being in the middle of chemo that wasn't surprising. But something else in my blood test made them think there's a possibility of a bacterial infection, possibly in my port. But I won't find out for sure until Monday because they have to grow the cultures. I was there from 2:00-5:30 am, got home at 6:00 am and then was back there at 9:00 am for more chemo. The doctor and I talked a lot about it, she made sure I was up to it and we went forward with it. During chemo, I developed another fever. Sigh. I was shivering again but I kept telling the infusion nurse it was adrenaline and I was fine. She walked away and came back with my doctor - I laughed and said I can't believe you told on me!! So, she gave me a different antibiotic and some Tylenol and sent me on my way.
Friday I woke up and felt great and Elliott stayed home with me instead of going to school (Cameron really wanted to too, but it was show and tell day, which is like the best day of the whole week...so I picked him up 1:00 instead). Erin and Nolan came over to play with us, and my dad and Marilyn came over. I made soup, we had a great day - and I felt great all day. Then that night at dinner time - another fever with horrible chills and under multiple blankets. It went away with Tylenol, and then at 4:30 in the morning it was back.
I hate to state the obvious - but this sucks. This chemo has been easier, so I'm going to have mystery fevers to deal with. It's scary to not know what's going on in my body. It's entirely possible that when my blood work comes back on Monday there will be no infection anywhere, and we won't ever know what was causing the fevers. I'm going to decide that the fevers are done as of right now, my blood work will come back and say it's all good, and I'll move forward with 10 more weeks of tolerable chemo.
Yah, that's right.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Saturday, March 16, 2013
I'm back!
I hope!
I had my first round of Taxol, the new chemo I'll be receiving weekly, on Thursday. This is WORLDS better than the first two types of meds I received. Last round I pretty much got every single side effect that was possible. It was a dark, yucky place to be. I was depressed and scared and down.
This week I am the exact opposite. I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm trying to remain cautiously optimistic because I do have 11 more rounds of this to go, but I really feel good. I experienced none of the side effects that I did last week, my energy is up, my mood is up....wahoo!
The doctor said the biggest side effects from Taxol are neuropathy (tingling/numbness on hands and feet, which in 90% of cases people will get full sensation back) and nail beds that loosen. My biggest fear is if the neuropathy gets too bad they'll stop treatment, which I won't be okay with. My oncologist actually tried to cancel my chemo this week because of some of the side effects that I was experiencing, but I successfully talked her out of that. :) I like to keep on schedule with what the millions of dollars and super smart scientists have decided is best for me.
They gave me 50 mg of Benadryl in my IV with the Taxol because of the risk of allergic reaction to it. I didn't like that - it made me feel woozy and knocked me out. Which, would've been fine if I was then going to bed for the night - but instead they kicked me out 40 minutes later and I had to somehow function. So, they're going to cut it down to 25 mg next time, but I will have to have it with every round.
And, I think that pretty much says it all. Getting knocked out from Benadryl is my biggest complaint this week. Party time.
Moving forward!!
I had my first round of Taxol, the new chemo I'll be receiving weekly, on Thursday. This is WORLDS better than the first two types of meds I received. Last round I pretty much got every single side effect that was possible. It was a dark, yucky place to be. I was depressed and scared and down.
This week I am the exact opposite. I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm trying to remain cautiously optimistic because I do have 11 more rounds of this to go, but I really feel good. I experienced none of the side effects that I did last week, my energy is up, my mood is up....wahoo!
The doctor said the biggest side effects from Taxol are neuropathy (tingling/numbness on hands and feet, which in 90% of cases people will get full sensation back) and nail beds that loosen. My biggest fear is if the neuropathy gets too bad they'll stop treatment, which I won't be okay with. My oncologist actually tried to cancel my chemo this week because of some of the side effects that I was experiencing, but I successfully talked her out of that. :) I like to keep on schedule with what the millions of dollars and super smart scientists have decided is best for me.
They gave me 50 mg of Benadryl in my IV with the Taxol because of the risk of allergic reaction to it. I didn't like that - it made me feel woozy and knocked me out. Which, would've been fine if I was then going to bed for the night - but instead they kicked me out 40 minutes later and I had to somehow function. So, they're going to cut it down to 25 mg next time, but I will have to have it with every round.
And, I think that pretty much says it all. Getting knocked out from Benadryl is my biggest complaint this week. Party time.
Moving forward!!
Monday, March 4, 2013
I am cancer right now
So, this is what I expected and feared - and thought I was somehow exempt from. I'm miserable. My treatments have gotten worse each time, or at least the days after have. I finished my fourth and final round of dose dense A & C on Thursday, and I'm down for the count. Saturday I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't swallow, couldn't eat or drink much....couldn't really function. Sunday I started to feel better, and then last night I got a cold. I already was having a hard time swallowing (the chemo affects your entire GI tract, from your mouth through your throat to your esophagus to your stomach) and now I have a cold on top of it. Miserable. There's just no other way to put it. My energy is gone. I sit on the couch and it's everything in me to keep my eyes open, even though I'm not tired enough to sleep. My head is foggy and heavy....etc and so on and blah blah. So, this is what the anticipation was all about.
I feel like I look like cancer now that I feel like cancer, which in turn makes me feel worse. I'm missing work, I'm not pulling my weight around the house, I'm not on the treadmill, I'm not at yoga....I'm just surviving right now. I keep trying to feel grateful that I had so many good weeks that could've been like this, but part of me feels like it got my hopes up that I was somehow going to sail through this intense treatment and now I haven't.
Before every chemo, they put heparin in my port to make sure it's clear. On the second treatment, the smell of the heparin started to make me sick. The third treatment I had to wear a mask lined with peppermint chapstick so I couldn't smell it. The fourth treatment, I got sick and cried just by the nurse accessing the port to draw my blood. It's the anticipation of what's to come. I wonder how many things I'm not ever going to be able to smell again because it will remind me of this time (the soap in my house, the "shampoo and conditioner" I use on my head right now) bagels....well that would be fine if I never ate another bagel I guess.
I start the T part of my treatment next Thursday. One med, which everyone promises me should be better. However, they promise me that the nausea won't be as bad, which hasn't been one of my biggest side effects, so I'm trying to keep my expectations in check. Constantly trying to keep my expectations in check.
Moving forward.
I feel like I look like cancer now that I feel like cancer, which in turn makes me feel worse. I'm missing work, I'm not pulling my weight around the house, I'm not on the treadmill, I'm not at yoga....I'm just surviving right now. I keep trying to feel grateful that I had so many good weeks that could've been like this, but part of me feels like it got my hopes up that I was somehow going to sail through this intense treatment and now I haven't.
Before every chemo, they put heparin in my port to make sure it's clear. On the second treatment, the smell of the heparin started to make me sick. The third treatment I had to wear a mask lined with peppermint chapstick so I couldn't smell it. The fourth treatment, I got sick and cried just by the nurse accessing the port to draw my blood. It's the anticipation of what's to come. I wonder how many things I'm not ever going to be able to smell again because it will remind me of this time (the soap in my house, the "shampoo and conditioner" I use on my head right now) bagels....well that would be fine if I never ate another bagel I guess.
I start the T part of my treatment next Thursday. One med, which everyone promises me should be better. However, they promise me that the nausea won't be as bad, which hasn't been one of my biggest side effects, so I'm trying to keep my expectations in check. Constantly trying to keep my expectations in check.
Moving forward.
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